How to Calm Down When You're Angry (Fast)
When you are angry, your body is in an alarm state, and your thinking narrows. Trying to reason your way out rarely works. Calm the body first, then decide.
Do this first
- Stop talking and stop typing. Don't send the message.
- Slow your breathing: a double inhale through the nose, then a long, slow exhale. Repeat for a minute.
- Unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders and relax your hands.
- Put some distance between you and the trigger: leave the room, step outside, or put the phone down.
Then
Wait until your body settles before you decide anything. A common rule of thumb is to give it at least ten to twenty minutes before you reply to what set you off. Movement, such as a walk, can help burn off the adrenaline.
What not to do
Don't drive angry, don't send the angry email, and don't drink to take the edge off. Venting by shouting or hitting things tends to keep you wound up rather than calm you down.
Make it easier next time
A daily ten-minute meditation trains the noticing skill you need in the moment. Read our guide to meditation for anger for the full method.
When to get help
If your anger leads to violence or threats, or you worry you could hurt someone, talk to a mental health professional. If anyone is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to calm down after getting angry?
Breathing can settle your body within a minute or two, but it can take longer to think clearly again. Give yourself time before important conversations.
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References
- Balban, M. Y., et al. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4(1), 100895.
This article is educational and not medical advice. Meditation does not replace professional care.